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Personally crave insights from people regarding managing middle-aged struggles, including deep inner questions, waning significance, noticing one’s neck like a Salvador Dalí clock along with a recent enthusiasm about property shows. Lately, I discovered the chef’s comments on turning 50 via a discussion: “Trimming unnecessary clutter is key to enjoying your later years,” he noted. “Spend time with positive individuals. I steer clear of downbeat types – ‘energy vampires’ – and am learning to decline more often.”

My first thought was: isn’t this contradictory regarding shunning downbeat folks and mastering refusal? Could that imply he needs to dodge his own tendencies? I know – it’s exactly the kind of thing a mood hoover would say, and that’s because I am one. Yet, we gloomy souls like to call ourselves “vibe suckers”. Steer clear of labels like “killjoy” or “buzzkill” – equating us to mundane objects hurts; we do experience emotions (even if they’re mostly bleak). In a bind, I might tolerate “melancholy luxury blanket”.

Perhaps you’re one too. Do you tend to be the event’s realist rather than its cheerleader? When you give an exhaustive answer to “How are you?”, does the other person slowly retreat? Do proposed “enjoyable” plans trigger a visage akin to having ingested something unpleasant? Can you relate deeply to pessimistic characters; has an intuitive ever described your energy as dull?

If this describes you, you’re in our ranks, and that’s acceptable. Even as popular advice encourages cutting ties with “exhausting” pals, I believe we provide genuine benefits. I reckon a mood hoover would have said something discouraging – or at least made a slug-swallowing face – when Jamie described his plan to write a kids’ book with an Australian First Nation main character without consulting Indigenous communities, which could have prevented a whole lot of problems, upset and offence. You don’t get that sort of service from “lovely people”.